Beta Readers Wanted: Would You Turn the Page?

Hello World!

What I share below has been read by only two people other than myself: my husband and daughter.  Now that I have their feedback, I am looking for the feedback of others, so comments would be appreciated.  If you read what I have written below, would you want to turn the page?  If yes, why?  If not, why not? Thanks for your help in advance. Please do not re-print this posting or any part of it.


Shifting one foot to the other and pulling her coat collar close to her chin, Jasmine scanned the terminal, her eyes darting here and there. The thump, thump of her heart was so loud in her ears that she almost missed hearing the phone. Trembling, she switched it off.

It was him.

The line moved forward. She walked through the gate and boarded the plane, taking the first vacant window seat.  Hands still shaking, she fumbled with the seat belt until it was fastened. Then, pulling the shade down over the window, she lowered her head and leaned against the inside wall of the aircraft.

From under the veil of her eyelashes, Jasmine watched as people boarded, careful not to make eye contact. She offered a silent prayer of thanks when it was two ladies, apparently traveling together and engrossed in their own conversation, who took the two seats beside her.

Only after the flight attendants had closed the doors and she could feel the plane backing away did Jasmine let out the breath she had unknowingly been holding, quickly followed by a huge sigh of relief.

She had done it! After months of careful planning, she had escaped!

It was the bump of the landing gear hitting the runway followed by the jerk backwards at the reverse thrust of the engines that woke Jasmine.  Briefly disoriented, for the first couple of seconds she could not remember where she was or why.  Slowly it all came back to her.


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